Kookie, our wild raccoon buddy, stops by to collect his quota of chocolate chip cookies. It so happens that I am watching the Disney animation film Zootopia for the third time. He stares for a few moments at my computer screen before asking, in bewildered tones, “Are those weird-looking characters supposed to be animals?”

“Of course they are!” I say. “Don’t you recognise them? That’s a rabbit — and there’s a fox — and a cape buffalo —” He bares his teeth. “They all just look like cuddly toys! With big ears and cute eyes. And they speak like humans!” I make a sad face at him. “Awww ... I really like this movie! It’s so sweet and clever, using different species of animals as a sort of metaphor for race and culture amongst humans, with sly references to famous Hollywood movies such as The Godfather —” But I have to stop because my furry friend is shaking his head.

“No, no,” he says. “You humans treat all other animals as if we are just entertainment for YOU!” Instead, according to him, the only worthwhile movie he has seen is a TV programme. He and his animal buddies really adore it. It’s live-action, with a huge cast of humans and animals and it’s called Zoo. It appears on Netflix, he tells me, “It’s about what happens when all the animals in the world finally turn on humans.” Actually, I have seen the trailer for this series. “I didn’t like it much,” I tell him. “It seems a bit frightening and violent.” The plot revolves around a genetic mutation that causes animals to lose their fear of humans.

“Yes!” says Kookie, twiddling his long whiskers. “Instead of being scared of guns and fences, the wolves, bears, tigers, snakes, jellyfish and vultures — even the ants — all creatures big and small join together in order to defeat humans!” I don’t have whiskers to twiddle, so I try to make do by frowning and pouting. “But Kookie! Do you really dislike humans that much? Do you really want us to just collapse and vanish?”

“We-e-e-ell,” he says. “The problem with humans is that you don’t know how to share. We’re all living on the planet, with its fixed amount of water, air and earth. We all evolved over time, to make use of the resources in whatever way suits us. Until humans came along, there was enough for everyone. But the moment People learnt to use fire and create machines, suddenly you were the only species that mattered! And now there’s no space for anyone except humans. It’s not fair.”

A bleak silence descends upon us. The sad fact is, I cannot disagree with what my four-footed friend says. As a species, we humans have been disastrous for the beautiful planet which is our only home. Kookie smooths back his whiskers. “But cheer up,” he says, in a friendlier voice. “Humans have a built-in safety-valve!” “Really?” I say. “You’re all crazy,” says Kookie tapping his forehead. “You choose terrible leaders like Mr Strumpet and you wage horrifying battles about something imaginary called Religion! The so-called mutant gene is already inside all of you!” Then he cackles cheerfully as he gobbles down the last cookie on the plate.

Manjula Padmanabhan , author and artist, writes of her life in the fictional town of Elsewhere, US, in this weekly column

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