Fit for you

The real obstacles to being fit and healthy are often in our self than in our circumstances. We need four qualities working in tandem to progress — will, faith, patience, love for the self.

We may have the will, but without sufficient faith in the fitness process and our capabilities it may not get powered.

We may have faith but the will to act on it may be faint.

We may have faith and will, but impatience to attain a desired weight or some longed-for improvement can bring on a physical injury due to overexerting; or a mental injury like cynicism. And cynicism is a double downer — you believe nothing and the only thing you ‘know’ about the fitness life is negative.

And even if we have the will, the faith, the patience, without love for our self, we gradually make excuses to cry off an exercise session or we binge too often.

People are confused about self-love. Isn’t it narcissism, egotism, selfishness? Not necessarily. Each individual has to find that loving balance between putting yourself last where you know you harm your health and yet not feel guilty about putting your well-being ahead of another’s demand or request.

I define self-love as an enlightened thoughtfulness toward oneself, a knowing that crossing certain lines can lead to stress and ill-health.

Recently, a dear friend who suffers from an acute skin allergy and been given a list of forbidden foods by the doctor, attended a wedding. Both the festive clothes she donned and the rich food she consumed brought on such a severe itching reaction that she has been housebound for a week and slept so fitfully that she feels like a wreck.

She says soberly, “I’ve realised, ma, it’s just not worth the temptation.” Interestingly, as she chatted, she mentioned laughingly how she hides certain foods from her teenaged wonder as he has acne, it struck me that this caring woman doesn’t extend that thoughtfulness towards herself.

We live and learn. To her observation of “I’ve realised it’s just not worth the temptation”, I’d add a ringing realisation of “I’m worth more than that temptation”. I sincerely feel this approach would do it.

It’s a matter of being gentle with your self, valuing and loving yourself regardless of whether others do or don’t. For that, you need to accept wholly a circumstance or condition that you’ve been wishing away. A role model helps.

One of mine is this terrific Tibetan guy who stays in a tiny bamboo hut with only a mattress to sleep on. Born without arms and legs, this man has accepted, nay embraced his condition so completely that he radiates joy, serenity, simplicity, innocence. People don’t just come to help him with food and water, they come to spend a happy hour and to forget or solve their problems.

To have happiness coursing like a river through us 24/7, completely independent of external circumstances is the greatest blessing we can bestow on our self. He is a living, breathing example of: “Don’t sweat the small stuff. Everything in life is small stuff.” It’s about being more, not wanting more, not becoming more.

I see in this man great faith. It is not blind faith but one with a higher sight. I see his great will that makes a thousand choices a day to be good-natured, helpful, cheerful and make a haven of his space. I see his tranquil patience in eternity, completely detached about results and rewards.

And from his self-love unrolls his selflessness for he shares it unstintingly with all those who meet him and gives them a large slice of his loving power and kindness.

And I say this one simple heartfelt line to you: please make a haven of your space.

Take care of your discomforts whether they be allergies, aches, twinges, whatever. Ease out of occasions that throw you right back into the pit. Be vigilant about taking your medicines.

Avoid all negative judgment about yourself. Yes, you are defensive and angry, but it doesn’t better the quality of your life. Once you accept your condition as is, you no longer experience the hurt, helplessness, frustration that goes with non-acceptance. You process your condition gently, kindly when you accept it and this allows the healing to commence, to continue...

Meditate all day. As you work, pause every hour to be with your breath’s rhythm. Repeat silently “Om”, “Amen”, “Calm” or any word that soothes the brain. Return to your work when you feel a cooling hush in your head. Not only the quality of your work improves, the quality of your very being gets quietly upgraded.

Exercise to awaken. Stationary cycling and floor-toners (abs, hyperextensions, leg-raises, and so on) make excellent pick-me-ups. One student who came all weepy and defeated to my exercise class announced after three sessions, “I’m feeling toned!” There was a lilt in her voice, a brightness in her eyes, a wakefulness in her stance. The difference was dramatic. “No going back to that sad state again,” I said. “Never!” she promised fervently.

The writer is co-author of the book ‘Fitness for Life’.