It’s easy to drive people, but difficult to lead them. No matter how good an idea is, if the people you lead aren’t ready for it they will obstruct your efforts to implement it, or else change it in some way to reflect what they are ready for.
Many an institution has died when some project, often quite worthwhile, was rammed down the throats of members who were unwilling, or unable, to swallow it. And many a leader has ridden to defeat under the standard of a beautiful theory that he preferred over reality.
People are more important than things. No matter how good an idea, if the people under you are not ready for it, respect their position. Work with them as they are, not as you would like them to be.
Be patient. Understand that it often takes time to bring people to new points of view. Reflect on how long it probably took you to come to your new point of view, before you could present it to them.
To win loyalty from subordinates, first be loyal to them. Never demand loyalty of others, for true loyalty cannot be commandeered: It can only be won. Be concerned only with being completely loyal yourself.
The same is true for love: Never demand love of others. Love them without worrying whether or not your love will be returned. One who gives love freely is, of all people, the most certain to receive it back—even a hundredfold.
In correcting someone, think not only of his need to hear what you have to say; think also of his readiness to hear it. Wait until the right time to speak, when what you have to tell him will do the mot good. If you speak at the wrong time, you may never get another chance: When next you raise the issue, he will be likely to remember only the inauspicious time when “you said that before.”
Be loyal first of all to your own.
In a school where the students were invited to share in the administrative work, complaints (not necessarily justified) were made against one of the teachers. The headmaster, eager to win the students by showing his loyalty to them, immediately took strong action against the teacher.
Wouldn’t the wise and more truly loyal thing to do have been first to inquire into the justice of the charges, and then, if possible, to work quietly with the teacher to correct her fault? By courting the students at the expense of his own staff member, the headmaster showed himself not actually worthy of anyone’s loyalty.
Moreover, he demonstrated that he was an incompetent leader, for the teacher and the fellow staff members were, after all, members of his work force. They would, if he treated them right, remain with him long after that particular group of students had graduated. But without the continued support of his teachers, the school itself would cease to exist.
Yet, how many bosses, the moment they feel a little displeased with something, take the brunt of their displeasure out on those who are least in a position to defend themselves: their subordinates? Authority so exercised is disloyal, incompetent, and even cowardly.
To be given authority over others is to be placed in a position of trust. The wise leader will, if anything, bend over backwards to defend and support his own, for he knows that whatever good he may hope to accomplish for others depends first on the strength of his own team.
Remember, then, these rules on loyalty:
1. Worth with people as they are, not as you would like them to be.
2. Work with things as they are, and not as you would like them to be.
3. Be patient. Understand that it takes time to bring people to new points of view.
4. To win loyalty, first be loyal to yourself.
5. To win love, first give love yourself.
6. In correcting someone, consider first his readiness to hear what you have to say.
7. Be loyal to your own first.
The author is a renowned spiritual teacher and the founder of the Ananda World Brotherhood Community.