After seventeen years in the relocation and training business, I’ve got used to questions. They range from the personal to the professional. Now it’s second nature to me and my colleagues to answer questions from expatriates as simply and factually as possible, no matter how trivial or complicated they seem.

To answer the questions to the expatriate’s satisfaction, we found that we need to get out of our ‘Indian’ skin and into theirs, look at our life and work culture through their eyes, figure out what was puzzling them, then get back into our own personas, and explain.

After answering a host of questions at a training session recently, it occurred to me that in answering the expats’ questions, we have understood ourselves and our culture better, and also understood them and their concerns better, which worked to create a better all-round relationship. I wanted to share some real life experiences hoping it helps build bridges of understanding.

Understanding each other

“If a woman employee is better in my section and I am pairing her up with a man as the lead, what should I be aware of?” asked one of my expat clients. “What are some solutions if I still want to execute my plan?”

“You must be aware that the man will most probably take the upper hand”, I answered. “And you could watch out for her, gently guiding the direction things are taking.”

As an Indian I understand that while women colleagues are respected and treated well for the most part, there is likely be an ego issue when it comes to leading a team, resulting in problems. She could face being treated with extra deference, with kid gloves. A junior, female member of the team, on the other hand, is likely to be either treated poorly, or to get away with unfair concessions on the basis of her gender. This holds good whether the woman in question is an expat or an Indian.

I realised that these nuances would not occur to a Westerner because in the West a professional is mostly just that — a professional, whether man or woman. Successful Indian leaders “look out” consciously for gender balance and I suggested that the person who had asked me the question learn to do that too.

“We are here to train; how do we correct people without making them feel bad?” was another question that came up. Be more sensitive than you would be in your home country, was my advice. Correct in private, praise in public. This has to do with the concept of ‘face’ in India, a concept that is quite foreign to the Westerner, who would think it quite acceptable to point out a trainee’s mistake as soon as it is spotted, right in front of the whole group, and move on from there, with no one taking offence. In India, we feel duty-bound to save not only our own faces, but those of others too. I explained the tendency to my client by telling him a little story.

Saving face

An expat, arriving at an event recently, got out of the car with a red hot face and a mood to match, as he had been going around in circles to find an address which his driver simply couldn’t locate. Used as he was to the GPS system, he was let down by even this, as he had not punched in the right door number. While he was explaining all this, his driver, in an apologetic way, took the onus on himself, and tried to let the expat down lightly, saying, “Sir couldn’t help it; there was not enough light to work the GPS.”

This effort of making oneself or another look good in front of others is what dictates most behaviour in India. When the tendency meets the direct talk approach of the West, misunderstandings and clashes begin!

It isn’t only the work ethics of India that confuses an expat. It can be the most trifling thing, which we probably don’t even notice, that sets them thinking and questioning. Here are some of the questions I enjoyed answering.

“Are the horns on the cows real?”

“Yes, of course they are. They’re simply painted in different colours to make them look attractive. Pooches in the West have rhinestone studded collars and dyed fur, cows in India have red and blue-painted horns topped by cheerfully tinkling brass bells.”

“Do I have to ask permission before I take pictures of people in India?”

“It is always good to do so, but most Indians don’t mind and will smile for the camera. Occasionally the street folk may ask for a tip, so be prepared!”

I’m sure many of you who work with expats have been asked similar questions. Curiosity is one of the keys to intercultural success. So it’s fine to ask questions. Open mindedness and humour are the other two keys, so use them while listening to questions and giving responses.

Daylight matters

And it’s not only expats who have questions galore; Indians too come to me with questions about the West and its culture and work ethics.

“Why do expats want everything done yesterday?” is a common question. “Why don’t they take a little time to speak about their family?” is another.

I explain to my Indian friends that work cultures are still dictated by the sun. In the West, daylight hours are fewer than in India, and so a tight work schedule has evolved, which doesn’t permit digressions and delays. To a Westerner, a schedule is meant to be strictly adhered to, not used as a very general guideline, subject to whimsical changes and deviations. They cannot understand and will not tolerate such liberties. Also, the tightness of the schedule means that they must necessarily keep the professional separate from the personal. That’s why they won’t discuss family, hobbies and ailments during work hours, nor will they ‘talk shop’ at parties.

(The writer is Founder CEO of Global Adjustments, a relocation and cross-cultural services company.)

Related Topics