“They say India is becoming intolerant. I don’t see any evidence of it!” ranted a relative visiting from abroad. She had been to the movies, and many in the audience were talking on their mobile phones, letting them ring loudly before silencing them, using the phone’s flashlight, unhindered. “Not a soul protested!” she complained.

I empathise, having protested, with mixed results. Over the years, neighbours’ pets have messed up and dirtied potted plants, doormats and newspapers. Complaining has led to fights, hostility and hurt silences. Now, few complain. Anyone who does is ignored. Come Diwali, some children would light fireworks indoors. At Christmas, it was common to see some residents draw electricity from the line in the common area to light their stars. Our grievances stayed inside our own homes and hearts, but silence reigned. So did peace.

Why does worship need loudspeakers, someone else wonders. “God can hear your appeals at any volume.” Cases have been filed and courts have ordered places of worship to ensure the volume does not cross a certain level. But if loud bhajans or raucous parties are a regular feature in your building, how many of us would even venture to object? Party-poopers or Grinches we are not. Live and let live, that’s the spirit. We are not cowards. Try complaining about poor customer service, and see a similar attitude prevail. “Others are making do. Why don’t you adjust? You think you’re above all of them?” is a question I’ve faced.

We do protest. We get on to our soapbox on social media, take sides on issues of religion and politics, sign petitions online, even join a protest at the local stadium. Is this easier to do as little of this affects us daily? Challenging someone in our own habitat, like the neighbour or the man at the cinema, is bound to lead to unpleasantness. We have to choose our battles. We would rather hoard the resentment within for the promise of an unquiet peace outside. Tolerance is certainly alive and kicking.

Deputy Editor

Related Topics