For physically challenged persons, finding a life partner is not easy. And this is especially so in our country, as prejudices towards the disabled run deep in society, a bias that is even more pronounced in villages and small towns.

As Sunita, afflicted with polio since birth, puts it, “For girls like me it is not even on the agenda of my parents.” That is perhaps the reason why several voluntary organisations have come forward to help arrange the marriages of men and women with disabilities.

One of them is Swaraj Viklang Seva Samiti, founded by Shreenarayan Yadav, under the aegis of Servants of People Society, Allahabad branch. Physically challenged himself, Yadav has been arranging mass marriages for people with disabilities for over a decade now.

A law graduate with a B.Ed degree, Yadav teaches at a government institute in Allahabad and assists disabled people in his free time. Yadav, who lost both his arms below the elbow due to an electric shock when he was just 12 years old, helps persons with disabilities in building livelihoods, apart from finding life partners for them. He has, till date, helped 250 couples tie the knot.

Sunita heard about Yadav and approached him last year. She met Parmod, a mobile-shop owner in Lucknow, through him. The couple got married, along with 14 other couples, at a mass event in Allahabad in February.

Sunita’s story is a chequered one, marked by hardships caused by her disability. “Life is not easy for a physically challenged person, especially in a village where your name becomes synonymous with your ailment. You have no identity of your own,” she says.

Unable to bear the discrimination, Sunita left Badaowan, her village in Barabanki district, Uttar Pradesh, after high school, to work in Lucknow. Against all odds, the young woman completed her Masters in Social Work even as she struggled to earn a living. Though the job she held was not commensurate with her qualification, she was happy to “at least be on my own.”

Parmod runs a mobile shop in Lucknow. He says that although it is much more difficult for women with disabilities to find a partner, the situation is not very favourable for men either. He feels society as well as families are insensitive towards those with disability. “They say, ‘why should the disabled want to get married? What more do you want other than being looked after?’ When this is what the family thinks, one is left with no choice but to be subjugated by the family.”

Sunita, who works in a hospital in Lucknow, says she got married to Parmod for companionship and social security. “We will support each other and endeavour to live a good life together.”

Yadav explains how he gets couples together. “People have come to know about our mission through word of mouth. Sometimes parents approach us and we find a groom or a bride.” He feels a major obstacle for the disabled is financial dependence. “That is why we try and set up small businesses for the physically challenged, in addition to providing the household goods required to set up a home.”

Another couple, Pyarelal and Anita, tell their story. While Pyarelal belongs to Pratapgarh, Anita is from Azamgarh district. “Anita and I kept meeting in 2012-13 at some events. Call it a love marriage if you want, but the credit goes to Yadav, who facilitated our marriage in 2014.” Pyarelal was assisted in setting up a small shop, while his wife Anita was trained in tailoring. They live in Pratapgarh and have a child who’s over a year old.

Renu, a single mother with polio, found rehabilitation by setting up a tailoring shop. This she did thanks to Yadav. She provides for her 15-year-old daughter and lives with her parents. Renu had lost her husband when her daughter was just 27 days old and a second marriage ended due to domestic violence. She then wished to bring up her daughter independently.

There are several other heart-warming stories. Shariq Khan, who married Hina at a mass wedding organised last year, says the love, respect and gifts given to each of the couples — no matter to which community or religion they belong — was overwhelming. Khan drives an e-rickshaw in Allahabad.

On his part, Yadav thanks all those who supported his initiative. “Without their backing, all this would not have been possible,” he says.

The writer is a senior journalist based in Delhi

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