Sticks and stones

May break my bones

But words will never hurt me.

No doubt a famous nursery rhyme; but totally inapplicable to those who have suffered verbal or psychological abuse from their peers or bosses in a corporate setting. Words and deeds have the power to hurt and hurt badly at that.

Power is given to individuals in an organisation in order to ensure an orderly process of decision-making and subsequent implementation of the decisions taken. In some sense, this power is not given in absolute terms but purely in trust in the hope that the trustees will use it wisely. Given human nature, it is clearly too much to expect such wisdom in all those who wield it. More often than not, most managers find the corrosive and corruptive influence of power too much of a temptation to resist and the inevitable happens.

Arbitrariness, favouritism, opacity in decision-making, lack of transparency in communication, among other ills, become entrenched in the system. One of the first consequences in such a scenario is what I would like to term as the ‘Fall from Grace'— in essence, the downfall of grace as an essential behavioural element in interpersonal relationships and people-related corporate actions.

I share some of the prime triggers that I have witnessed that lead to this sorry state.

Attitude

Increasingly, there is a tendency to equate aggressive posturing with action orientation. The aggression assumes many forms — verbal, jockeying for pole position, malicious attempts to grab credit, etc. Clearly, aggression is needed, but it should be focused on obtaining results and not on creating an impression. And, definitely, it should not be at the cost of achieving success by putting someone down. Clear messaging from the senior folks that such behaviour will not be encouraged or tolerated is a sine qua non for ensuring good behaviour and a conducive working atmosphere.

Pressure

Unremitting pressure certainly tests the fault lines that exist in all organisations. Unfortunately, pressure also makes most of us depart from our usual standards of behaviour and, in certain extreme cases, makes unlovable creatures of some people. The worst facets of certain personalities are on full display and grace goes out through the window when they deal with others. As we move higher in the hierarchy, one of the qualities that needs to be internalised is to be graceful under extreme stress. It helps us behave in a cool and collected fashion and think of solutions to relieve the stress. Equally importantly, it helps calm down those who work with us.

Separation

When someone feels it is time to bid goodbye, in most cases the person is seen as a villain. By some magic, all his good qualities suddenly seem to evaporate and the person is made to feel like a traitor to the cause. Unless someone has been unprofessional, it is important that those who leave do so with good feelings for the company and its people. At the end of the day, former employees who have been treated gracefully at exit time, can be powerful brand ambassadors

Giving

There is a grace attached to giving that cannot be over-emphasised. People in senior positions have the power to grant many benefits to those who work with them. These can be in the form of rights that are earned through good performance and also special gestures that are meant to help people grow. Many a time, the problem arises on account of the manner in which these benefits are conferred. There should be no sense of a gravitational flow from a higher level to a lower level. Then, the recipient feels a sense of obligation, instead of feeling a sense of happiness and validation. The same gesture done gracefully can motivate and empower a person and is beneficial to both the individual and the system at large.

Giving In

Taking wrong decisions from time to time is only to be expected. What is important is to learn the right lessons for the future, which is clearly a part of the maturation process of an individual. Hierarchical levels cannot protect anyone from the possibility of committing mistakes — other than, perhaps, to ensure that the decisions taken by those at the pointy end of the pyramid are likely to prove much more costly! It is more than likely that those who report to us may sometimes feel the need to point out our mistakes and our response at that time will define the openness of the culture. Obduracy and ill-mannered petulance will cost everyone dear. Graceful acknowledgement of one's mistakes and appreciation for those who have corrected us, will go a long way in enhancing one's credibility and in getting the respect of one's colleagues. Saying “I am sorry, I was wrong,” is a great first step; also saying “Thank you for pointing it out to me” will be the icing on the cake.

Nursery rhymes are powerful at conveying messages and morals. They are also most meaningful when read together with the context from which they spring. When it comes to behaviour in a corporate setting, grace in words and deeds will win at all times.

M. Chandrasekaran is corporate advisor to Manipal Education and Medical Group, and an IIM A alumnus. E-mail: >mcshekaran@gmail.com