I recently heard this real-life story: The Indian representative of a large company and a Japanese buyer were signing a big order at a special price. The Indian, let's call him Mr Mehta, who had studied in an Ivy League school in America, had picked up some American mannerisms. After writing his name with a flourish, he made a hand signal to say ‘OK' or ‘Super', with the forefinger and thumb forming a circle in the air. For good measure, he tapped the Japanese on the knee and made the ‘great' sign again. The next thing he knew, the Japanese buyer had called his Vice-President and spoke to him in a whisper. Then, an assistant told Mr Mehta the deal was off. The only explanation Mr Mehta got was: Okanewa dame — which translates as “money is not acceptable”. In Japan the gesture he used stands for O-kane, which means coins or money, and they thought Mr Mehta wanted a bribe for signing the deal!
This is a funny story in retrospect, but I'm sure it was acutely stressful at the time. The misunderstanding had to be explained and apologies rendered to go through with the deal.
Inter-cultural miscommunication through body language is a common pitfall in global dealings. Gestures, expressions, even posture, which mean a certain thing in one culture, could mean something entirely different in another, and, when people use code-breakers from their own cultural context to interpret signals from another, they end up scrambling results!
Takes two to Tango
At a workshop on multicultural team-building the other day, an Indian engineer complained about how his boss (a Westerner) “treats me like a dog”. It turned out that the expat often held out his hand, palm upward, and wagged his curled forefinger to beckon him from a distance. In India, we consider it rude to call someone by using that gesture. Instead, we hold our hand out, palm down and wave our fingers back and forth to say “come here”. Unfortunately, the expat hadn't figured out this nuance.
As already discussed in a previous article, handshakes should not be limp but firm and brief, irrespective of age and gender, to signal a reliable professional. Crossing ones arms might be interpreted as a closed and unfriendly body signal, so let's not do that.
Thoughtful entries and exits
It is a golden rule and minimum universal etiquette to let people out of elevators before going in. Similarly, allowing others to pass first, ahead of you, is good body language. Walk tall and purposefully into a room, don't try to slip in behind others. Let's not be slouchy or sloppy. Sit tall in a chair, with the back tucked into the back of the chair, it increases your confidence level and works for your self-esteem. Nod and sit forward while listening and always take notes in meetings — it shows you are involved.
Personal space – it's important
If you stand too close to a Britisher while talking to him or her, it might be interpreted as a threatening gesture. As a rule, I've found it best to keep a protective ‘D' space between myself and the person I'm talking to.
Physical contact is also an area of much misunderstanding. I remember a friend telling me how embarrassed she was by the enthusiastic hugs she got from an American associate whom she felt she barely knew. She was afraid he was getting too personal. I had to explain that it was quite normal in his culture and only signalled friendship.
In another instance, a colleague who was assigned to help a Westerner get acclimatised to India, complained to me how ‘rude' she was. “She talks in such a loud voice all the time. She's always raising her voice.” In India, being soft-spoken conveys respect and a raised voice is a sign of aggression, but it isn't necessarily so in other cultures.
There are so many little things which we Indians may take amiss, quite needlessly. Westerners, for instance, may tap or pat their colleagues, and wink a lot while talking. No, they're not being naughty, they're just being nice. It doesn't mean a thing other than simple friendliness.
I learned that in America, when you drop into a colleague's cubicle for a semi-official chat, you might find him suddenly pushing back his chair and putting his feet, shoes and all, on the corner of the table, meaning no offence. Yet, the other day, I watched a returning Indian do this in India, which looked totally out of place. So the rule is, adopt positive body language in a new culture to fit in while interacting with them, and drop it when you are back with your own.
As business borders are erased, let's play safe. Till we learn the intricacies of another culture's body language, let's minimise our own, use the universal language of the smile, and try to use more verbal communication than the non-verbal type for our part.
The writer is Founder CEO of Global Adjustments, a relocation and cross-cultural services company and can be contacted directly at www.globalindian@globaladjustments.com